👢 What Personal Style REALLY means
I was left a comment recently which asked if my style is the way it is because of my kibbe body type. Amazing question. The answer is a little complicated; yes, my style is heavily influenced by my Kibbe body type and the recommendations that go along with that, but it is also influenced by so many other things like the other style systems I subscribe to, my background, my budget, my whims and my sentimentality. For me, this prompted a further question - what actually is personal style?
If personal style is the clothes in our wardrobes, how do you explain the “I can’t afford my taste” mentality? I know I don’t always feel that the clothes I own accurately represents my true personal style, my core style deep within. I think just as the books on our bookshelves are not always our favourite books, the clothes in our closets are not always our favourite clothes. Absolutely, the clothes we buy says something about our taste, but is this really the be all and end all?
If personal style is not the clothes in our wardrobes, what is it? Could it be the clothes wear? But, when? The outfit we wore over the last ten days? the last thirty days? the last year? more? What about the clothes we wore but hated the entire time? The outfits we wear are the biggest signal to other people, the outside people that we encounter on a day to day basis, about who we are and what our style is, but is others perception of our clothes the whole story? If your mum sees you on an off day, does that then still become your personal style? Does our style change with every new outfit, or is it a collection of outfits? If that’s the case, if no one saw them, you can’t remember them, and no one took the pictures, do they count?
If it’s not the outfits we wear, is it our mood boards? I know I love almost every outfit on my pinterest board, and it is my source of inspiration. Surely the place we keep our inspiration is the best representation of our personal style? Well, I’m not sure. Just because I like an outfit, doesn’t mean it would feel right on my body, that I want to invest in that item of clothing, or that I would like to see every piece from the outfit in my wardrobe.
When you look at each component, defining your personal style can be a challenge! The simple answer, of course, is that personal style is an amalgamation of all these elements and more. It is the clothes we wear and buy that we still love when we look at them. In this email, I have created some prompts to help you think about your personal style for 2024.
What you will learn today…
🗺️ Style Exercise: The Style Map
👗 3 steps to creating a pinterest board you will actually use
👛 Case Study: why I’m into the rock chick when I’m not a “moon”
Exercise: The Style Map
After I was asked this question about my style, I immediately had this exciting idea of a style map. I had recently seen Ali Abdaal create something similar to help you assess your life, and I thought I could apply it to this concept of personal style.
Find a piece of paper and write the following things around the edge:
outfits worn
mood board
clothes kept
clothes bought
style systems (kibbe, colours, essences, style roots etc)
style inspirations (icons you look up to)
outfits recorded
Write the numbers 1-5 from the centre of the page to each element
Use these numbers to record how you feel about each element. For example, if you loved the outfits you have been wearing recently you might rate that a 5, if you feel you don’t have many style inspirations you could rate that a 1, if you have loved most of the clothes you have been buying you could rate that a 4
draw a line between each rating, to get a visual representation of your current style strengths
repeat across the seasons or when you are struggling
The point of this exercise is to get in touch with how you feel about your current personal style, and establish where you need to strengthen
3 steps to creating a Pinterest board you will actually use
Write a list of the gaps in your wardrobe
It is essential that you know what it is you are looking for when you create a moodboard. Before you start to browse the app to let it tell you what you are supposed to wear, instead, attack it with some intention.Whether its the literal items you are missing such as basics, skirts or boots, or an overall vibe, such as “earthy” or “rock chick” that you feel you would benefit from seeing more of, write it down. It also might not be gaps from your wardrobe, but the outfits you are wearing - you probably own the items which would make an outfit feel different with simply different styling.
Browse with reckless abandon
In stage two, you are searching for specifics, but also pinning anything and everything you like. It doesn’t matter if it came out of left field, or feels unexpected, just save it and be more skeptical later. A mix of intention and pure enthusiasm will get you the best results.
Interrogate your board
Once you have, say, 20-50 pins on your board, it is time to dissect it. Get your notebook back and write down the things you see repeatedly in the photos you have saved. Are there particular items, prints, shapes, styles which come up again and again? or even just twice? What did you expect, what didn’t you expect? Is there anything on your board which you might be a trend to be wary of? What things don’t you like in the outfits you have pinned? How could you turn these outfits into outfits you could wear comfortably? What things are you lacking to make this possible? What could you do with the clothes you already own - after all, if you own nothing which could be translated from your pin board, perhaps you need to do some reexamination of your pins?
Why I’m obsessed with the rock chick
I think of the moon as my “anti-root”. The rock chick is the aesthetic that I am often drawn to, even though it seems totally against my three style roots (mushroom, flower, earth). I feel pretty confident in my style root choices; I am the sweet country girl. I am the antithesis of the rock chick; I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I’m a little intimidated by my own electric guitar, I don’t suit black, I like to be in bed by 10 and my favourite place is huddled with a book by a fire. I don’t think anyone would describe me as rock n roll.
And yet, I love the rock chick. Whether it’s Kate Moss, Debbie Harry, or Taylor Momsen, the rebellion of the rock chick is so appealing to me.
Last year I felt a lack of “cool” in my style, and I realised I was being too safe with my outfits and the items I was buying - I need a little adventure and rebellion! Although I am not a studs, chunky boots, black lace, red leather kind of girl, some of the rock chick elements which float seamlessly into my existing style I am trying to bring into my wardrobe. A lot of rock chick styles flow seamlessly into earthy elements, a lot of 70s Daisy Jones and the Six styles, and fused with my simple, feminine clothing this is a concept which really excites me. Similarly, some of the 80s rock chick styles, think Madonna, flow unexpectedly into my flower style root. Some elements I am bringing into my style include
leopard print
sparkles
faux fur (second hand)
cowboy boots
flared jeans
denim generally
You don't haver to say bye to an aesthetic you are in love with because it doesn’t obviously match your roots, but you also don’t have to copy an aesthetic’;s stereotypes in order to bring it into your style. Instead, see how you can find the middle ground between what you are inspired by and your style roots
WEEKLY CURATION
👠 YouTube - Julia Roberts Breaks Down 17 Looks 1978-Now by British Vogue | Pretty Woman is my favourite movie of all time so it was so exciting to see some behind the scenes stories about the outfits in the film
💖 TikTok - How I’m adding more drama into my life in 2024 by Jules | This is the most exciting short vlog I think I have ever watched. I love Jules thoughts on expanding your life, having new adventures and changing your routine.
👩👧 TikTok - the French mother and daughter look du jour duo by @mademoisellesoph | This is my new way to keep up my French. Everyone is absolutely obsessed with this French mother and daughter showing of their outfits together, they are so cute, and so good for reminding me that French was a part of my degree I haven’t practised in a year.
👞 Reels - Parker York Smith | I am learning so much from Parker about men’s style. I am obsessed currently with watching men’s OOTDs - I am so excited to dress up my boyfriend he has no idea what’s about to hit him
New Uploads:
📏 YouTube - Do You Have Kibbe Width? | I break down the basics of the Kibbe term “width” and whether you have it to help you decide if you could be a natural body type
❄️ Reel - How to translate your style for the winter | There is such a stigma around “tacky” or “cheap” items when style icons and designers including Moschino and Carrie Bradshaw are defined by similar styles. This is why tacky isn’t always bad in your outfits.
🐭 Reel - Best colours for mousy brown hair | You guys LOVED my thoughts on mousy brown/dirty blonde hair and why you should keep it, so I did a deep dive into Emily Blunt and her best or worst colours.
🍸 Reel - Tips for dry January from a non-drinker | These are some things I wish I knew when I decided not to drink all those years ago. It gets easier and it gets better :)
Ask Me a Question!
This week’s question comes from Conor, thank you so much! She asks…
‘I’d love more advice for dressing for cold weather! I’m a bright (I think) spring, flamboyant gamine, with earth/sun/moon style roots, and I never feel like I’m dressing authentically in winter! I hate only having jeans and jumpers to wear when it’s cold and I don’t know how to find a winter coat that suits me. Your winter outfits look just as good as your summer outfits and I want to know how you do it!’
This is something I have been working on for so long! I still don’t always feel that I have got it right, but I’m definitely a lot closer to it. It helps that I don’t live in a country which is extremely cold - in the UK we sometimes get snow, but mostly it’s drizzly or cloudy and sunny at best. The first thing to focus on is colour, as a bright spring, it might not feel intuitive to wear your best colours as they are not stereotypically winter colours; however, this is the easiest way to feel more alive in this season. Identify some colours which you resonate with from your palette, perhaps some of the darker shades in your palette for winter, and see which ones you could incorporate into your winter wardrobe . My favourite way to do this is with a coat, you should always have a smart, warm coat in your best colour. The second tip is to buy some pairs of fleece-lined tights - I used to think this was TikTok nonsense too, but buying a pair of warm, fleecy tights has opened up so much of my wardrobe for the winter seasons. This also applies to thermal tops with long sleeves which you can slip under flowy blouses and no one has to ever know. The most important investments for winter are shoes and boots - make sure to buy ones you like rather than pure practical, I know I used to opt for clunky leather boots, but these never made me feel put together even though they were “practical” - unless you are walking up a mountain everyday, you can let practicality slide more than you think! Some leather cowboy boots at different heights would be a great option for your style roots. Adding a couple of details like a bohemian print, corduroy trousers, or some asymmetric shapes would be simple ways to add your style roots into the generic winter wardrobe.
I would love to use this newsletter to get to know you guys a little and create a little community of style fanatics! This newsletter is a great opportunity to answer some of your biggest questions.
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Until next time…
Thank you for reading this week’s newsletter. I post every Friday at 4pm. I am on a mission to make this the best style newsletter in the world, but I need your help. If you have enjoyed today’s newsletter, please share a link with a friend you think might like it to. And if this is your first time reading Curate Yourself, subscribe using the button below ;)
Ellie-Jean x
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