💡 How to harness your potential in 2024 - using CLOTHES
Your clothing has EVERYTHING to do with how you feel about your own potential. Clothing is a tool that you can use to change the narrative of your life, and embrace your own self-worth. As we head towards the new year, this is the perfect time to get introspective about your relationship with your style and your self. Ask yourself:
am I holding myself back?
am I using clothes as a way to hide from the world?
do I feel vulnerable unless I dress in a certain way?
are there things I want to try but I feel I’m not really allowed?
do I feel I and my life are not worth dressing up for?
is my relationship with my body in a good place?
does clothing do anything more for me than hide my perceived flaws?
is there a version of myself that feels out of reach?
does my clothing reflect how I feel on the inside?
have I been overspending on clothing without thinking about what I truly want?
These questions should help you realise where you are at with your wardrobe, and if you are using clothing as a way to hide from rather than embrace your individuality.
The people with the best personal style are not afraid of standing out from the crowd - this doesn’t have to mean an Iris Apfel aesthetic of bright colours, large shapes, giant glasses and enormous jewellery - it might mean being happy turning up in jeans and a top when all of your friends have planned to wear dresses.
Clothes are a tool to show people who you are, to enhance your unique beauty and to tell your story for you before you even open your mouth.
The topics in today’s newsletter will help you tell your story with your clothing, and use clothing to become the best version of yourself in 2024
What you will learn today…
🩰 Style System: The 7 Kitchener Essences - the basics
👗 Style Method: creating an effect
👛 3 ways to tell stories with your clothing
The 7 Kitchener Essences - the basics
Although essences come out of my personal style toolbox last, I gravitate to this system when analysing celebrities and their style choices. Even more than Kibbe I feel the essences are a useful tool for capturing a person’s vibe and expressing it through clothing, and can be one of the most obvious things that is “off” about an outfit, even when it fits perfect and works for their colours. The Kitchener essences is the best tool for storytelling; a person’s face is the first place we look and we make many assumptions about them. When an outfit fits a person’s face, there is a strong harmony, when it doesn’t, it feels “off”. In many ways, essences is the easiest style system to get your head around as it is intuitive. This is a simple guide for each of the essences and what to wear:
Dramatics
Long, sharp, straight features -> bold, theatrical, structured styles
Naturals
Long, blunt, angular, irregular features -> relaxed, athletic, bohemian styles
Gamines
Small, sharp, petite, contrasted, pixie features - > cheeky, boyish, playful styles
Classics
Moderate, even, balanced features i.e. no extreme, describable features, everything in the middle -> simple, clean, elegant, timeless styles
Ingenues
Small, round, little, baby features -> sweet, girlish, youthful, cute styles
Romantics
Soft, round, lush, short features -> sensual, soft styles
Ethereals
Long, soft, mature features -> celestial, angelic, otherworldly styles
Creating an effect
Of course, someone’s face doesn’t really tell you anything about the person underneath; just because someone looks cute doesn’t mean they are cute, and they might not want to dress cute - this is where “creating an effect” comes in.
For some people, looking cute and sweet is much easier than others - for example, an ingenue can incorporate some small, delicate details into their ornaments like bows and buttons and it won’t detract from their professionalism or timelessness - in fact they will look so themself you won’t even notice that they are trying to dress cute. Classics, on the other hand, with a few details it will become obvious that they are dressing cute, that they are going for a sweet/girly aesthetic. For naturals, it might be quite difficult to look cute as it goes so against their yin/yang balance that it could look very unnatural and ‘off’ against their features.
If you want to create a cute effect, you have to think about how cute details interact with your personal features. If you have yang features, a bow would need to become larger and more angular, rather than a small dainty one. Creating an effect can also mean going against your lines, for example, creating an edgy or rebellious look can be achieved by deliberately contrasting your lines e.g. Elle Fanning going against her light features by wearing a dark cool black - it’s not her most traditional “best” look, but there is something exciting about it nonetheless.
3 ways to tell a story with your clothing
Subtle Cosplay
This is where you take inspiration from a favourite TV show, film, singer, book - anything you like - and base one of your outfits on the show. As a fan of Doctor Who, I’m not going to buy a David Tennant 10th Doctor costume from amazon and run around with a screwdriver, a tie and a blue suit, but I might put on a pair of white trainers I already own along with some navy cigarette pants and blazer and know in my heart that for today I am being the doctor. Whenever I go to a concert, I like to wear an outfit inspired by the artist, so when I went to see Holly Humberstone I layered a tulle dress over a miniskirt and wore some chunky boots - it wouldn’t be obvious to anyone else that it was a costume, but I got the satisfaction of dressing up.
Nod to your dream life
This is one of my favourite exercises from Strictly Kibbe’s university. Take some time to create a moodboard of a dream, alternate, fantasy lifestyle. Perhaps you have always wanted to be a fairy, a ballerina, a rockstar. Spend a day looking round your home or the shops, especially vintage shops, looking for a nod to this dream life. It could be a ring with a wing, a pair of ballet flats or a dark smoky eyeliner. For me, some part of me always wanted to be an explorer like Jane in Tarzan, and so I have a safari-style dress in my wardrobe. Whenever I want to harness the feeling of being an explorer, I will put on my safari dress to feel like Jane.
Dress for the location
As a general rule, I think your personal style has the biggest impact when you bring elements of yourself to an outfit; however, there are times when the external can be just as inspiring as the internal. If you are going to a museum, see if you can be inspired by one of the exhibits or the history of the building to put together an outfit. I recently went to see some planes with my boyfriend (not my choice of museum), but I made it fun for myself by putting together a 1940s inspired look with a red lip, brogues and pin curled hair.
WEEKLY CURATION
🎉 YouTube - New Year Planning: Reflecting on 2023 by Lavendaire | These questions are amazing tools for thinking about your year. This is a great point, not to just make wishes of things that sound nice for the next year, but to really think about your life as it stands and find what you want to keep and/or change.
🕶️ TikTok - Lean into your celebrity energy by @whitneyulund | The idea that we all have the potential to own our own space, to draw the attention of the room, and to be confident and that this creates this magnetic energy is one I can really get behind. If we all took a little bit more of this into our days (and our outfits) we could change the world.
💆♀️ Book - Fearless by Trinny Woodall (affiliate link) | If you want a book to help you find what suits you for makeup and clothes, Trinny has always been the go to. Her new book Fearless includes a really cool colour-typing system you won’t have seen anywhere else, and great examples of clothing styles.
💍 TikTok - How to keep your earrings safe with a button by @jeffandlaurenshow | Just such a cool hack for keeping your earrings safe as you travel - this would have saved me so many lost earrings, I’m tempted to keep all of my earrings like this
What’s new
🐦 I am writing on Twitter! - I am so in love with writing at the moment. I have a bit of the bug. This newsletter is one of the most exciting projects in my life at the moment, and that made me think “where else can I write”? Every day I am sharing my best style tips to twitter, so make sure to follow HERE
🎁 Christmas Colour Guide - If you are struggling to make the Christmas colours suit you, this guide is for you. I have created two unique palettes for each of the four colour seasons to help you find your best looks for the holiday season. Read more here
👏 Join the community - I have launched a patreon! If you want live workshops with me every month where you get to ask me your burning questions in an intimate group, this is your opportunity. I also reinvest all the profits from Patreon back into the YouTube channel to make the content stronger and better, so every penny leads to better videos.
New Uploads:
💄 YouTube - I used to dress for my age... until I found my body type | I created a best and worst outfit for my mum based on her Kibbe body type, Dramatic Classic. I break down the process of the outfits behind this viral (3 million+ views) TikTok.
✨ Reel - Why you should embrace your tacky items | There is such a stigma around “tacky” or “cheap” items when style icons and designers including Moschino and Carrie Bradshaw are defined by similar styles. This is why tacky isn’t always bad in your outfits.
🎉 Reel - How to set style goals for 2023| The new year is a fabulous opportunity to change the narrative of your relationship with your wardrobe.
🎄 Instagram - The pressure of a perfect Christmas | I share my thoughts on the pressure from social media to have the perfect aesthetic Christmas, and how I pushed back with my own shopping choices.
Ask Me a Question!
This week’s question comes from Steph, thank you so much! She asks…
‘Due to 2D animation inherently not being rooted in reality, it carries with it an infinite amount of exaggerated expressions. So when it comes to the vast array of Disney Princesses and Heroines, is there a certain one that you resonate with style-wise due to your shared style roots?’
I LOVE Disney Princesses, and I have had many obsessions with certain princesses over the years. I have always associated myself with Rapunzel from Tangled because of her blonde hair and pink dress - we also approach situations the same sharing the ENFP personality type. I love Rapunzel’s outfit for her lack of shoes - I resonate with the element of undress here, how she connects to nature and isn't fussed about being perfect, but her dress has many intricacies, is delicate and soft. I also strongly associate myself with Belle, I strongly relate to her introspection and love of reading, but her outfits and clothing choices - not so much.
I would love to use this newsletter to get to know you guys a little and create a little community of style fanatics! This newsletter is a great opportunity to answer some of your biggest questions.
If you would like to submit one you can do so using the button below:
Until next time…
Thank you for reading this week’s newsletter. I post every Friday at 4pm. I am on a mission to make this the best style newsletter in the world, but I need your help. If you have enjoyed today’s newsletter, please share a link with a friend you think might like it to. And if this is your first time reading Curate Yourself, subscribe using the button below ;)
Ellie-Jean x
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