👢 Trends 101: How to Seize not Submit
Is there a place for trends within the world of personal style?
Many assume that fashion and style are one and the same, when they’re more like two sides of the same coin. The only thing personal style and fashion really has in common is clothes. Fashion is the world of trends: who are you wearing? what’s on the runway? what is that designer saying? Even though I place myself firmly in the style camp, fashion is by far the more innovative, creative and exciting world. It’s always moving, it’s always changing. The appeal for the every day person - so not necessarily the fashion students and the wannabe designers - is the ‘cool’ and ‘current’ element of fashion. Most of us want to feel like we are cool, that we know what’s up, that we aren’t making some giant fashion faux pas completely unawares. The problem of course is that a fashion-only focus can lead to stifled creativity and a lack of direction.
It has been a shopping-principal of mine for a few years now to avoid trends wherever possible. Even if I like them. Fashion trends are a slippery thing; on day one the chunky Mary Janes seem like the most atrocious thing your favourite high street store has ever spat onto the shelves, but by day 20 they feel so normal that you find yourself tempted. Of course, by day 220 the veil has worn away, you see them for the horror that they are again and you can’t imagine why you would ever have bought such a thing. (no offence to chunky Mary Janes, a shoe that I actually love despite the last few sentences)
Sometimes you like a trend from day one; you feel your eyes bulge in your head, your heart races - you want it, no you need it in your wardrobe. However, when it arrives, it doesn’t go with anything in your wardrobe, it hurts your feet or it clings at the wrong place, it feels too bright every time you look at it and so there it sits.
Some pieces are meant to be looked at, not bought. It is okay to appreciate an item and let it go, to say no. The last ten years, in response to the brutality of the 00s, has followed the idea that buying what you want is the way to go. This mindset is perfect for trends; they are designed to be shiny objects you can’t resist - like pick n mix.
This is why I for the past few years have avoided trends like the plague - I simply cannot trust my gut on whether I LIKE a piece or not. Instead I let them come and go, kind of like meditation and watching your thoughts.
Many other personal-style lovers are of the same thought. These are the people who exclusively thrift, have incredible chunky glasses and mix patterns with reckless abandon. They are also the timeless, classic, elegant dressers who wear only neutrals and midi skirts come rain or shine. If style is ‘not fashion’, it sits firmly outside the box of trends, designers, magazines, and whatever is in Zara this month.
However, if you consider yourself a personal-style icon rather than a fashionista, you can borrow from the skills of the other camp: watch the trends like a hawk and be ready. It would be a mistake to ignore what’s going on in your high street stores, what’s going on in the upper echelons of fashion and in Vogue. Do I think you should look for ideas for your style that way? Not really. But once you know your style, it’s an opportunity to grab things as they come in. My mum recently did this with a midi skirt silhouette she had never found before, and it has become a wardrobe staple. Continue reading to learn how ;)
What you will learn today…
🩰 Style Framework: How to Repeat Buy an Item
👗8 rules for when you SHOULD buy a trend
👛 Case study: why I broke my own rules and bought a Christmas dress
Style Framework: How to Repeat Buy an Item
My mum has the best style of anyone I know. I love seeing what she is currently doing with her wardrobe; she’s classic, timeless and always cooler than me. One area she has always struggled is SKIRTS. As a Dramatic Classic, she found the yin element of traditional skirts a challenge. We recently discovered that the midi skirt is the perfect silhouette for her, and so she now has multiple in her wardrobe. This is a framework for how you can do the same:
Step 1: Break it down into it’s elements
The worst mistake you could make is assuming that one midi skirt is the same as all midi skirts. There are a few aspects which made the original skirt unique
cut on the bias
moderate length
mid waist
Step 2: Buy variations
Buying a second of any item is a challenge. Often it can result in simply having a worse alternative to the original. I recommend opting only for a colour that works in your wardrobe, if such a thing isn’t being sold let it go.
Step 3: Search around
It also doesn’t have to be the exact same item; all of these are from different brands, but they have the same elements in common. If it’s in one store, odds are it will be in two; they pull from the same runway sources.
8 rules for when to buy a trend
YES
You could wear it with 5-10 things you already own
It matches your features
It aligns with your style goals
You would have liked it last year
NO
You saw it on somebody else and you liked it
You disliked it a month ago
You can find more than one of the item already on Vinted with a quick search
Case Study: Why I broke my own rules
I admit it. I broke my rule. I never buy an item with an event in mind. I never want to buy a dress and wear it once. Since tracking my cost-per-wear I’ve been horrified at the unused value of some of my dresses. I have plenty of evening wear dresses; I went to a boarding school on a bursary for my last two years of school and I attended many formals (which is kind of like a ball or prom) and never wanted to get rid of my dresses. I therefore had no excuse for buying a beautiful new red dress from Zara. I saw the red velvet (well, velvet-ish) draped on the hanger and instantly fell in love. I tried it on in the changing room and it fit like a glove, I was twirling around in it for the other ladies and I felt really confident. And then, my mum said it. “You could wear that to the YouTube party!”. Oh no. Would that make it buying a dress for ONE party? At the thought of it I cringed. I have no excuse, I bought it anyway, and I did indeed wear it to the YouTube red party.
This is my defence: I loved the dress long before I thought of the party; it was a pinkish shade of red, it hugged my figure, it was modest and delicate - everything I love and need in a dress. I felt mature, glamorous, classy. By my rules, I ought not to have bought it. That’s the truth of it. But I intend to wear it again on Christmas Day and get a second wear in the first month. Hopefully I can then wear it on to dinner with my boyfriend, looking very overdressed in Norwich, in the second month.
Last year I am ashamed to admit I did the same thing, but worse. I was desperate to impress and I did the silly thing and bought the trend. I didn’t want to wear a silly thing I had had in my wardrobe for years; I was going to be in a room with other creators, some of the most fashionable women I would ever meet. I was intimidated and I caved into buying a House of CB dress. It did fit beautifully, and I did feel confident in it. However, it was slightly too orange rather than pink and it was far too of the ‘fire’ style root for my more delicate, modest taste, and so it never got worn again (by me, I did then sell it on to someone who I hope could use it more). I loved that dress, but it didn’t serve me more than that moment. The dresses I do have though I intend to last me for as long as I fit into them, and that was why I felt more confident with the dress I ended up buying this year; I loved it from the first moment as a dress that did something nothing else in my wardrobe did - made me feel like a woman. Perhaps you don’t see that as justification, let me know by replying to this email ;)
Me at the YouTube party in my dress with Maddie ( @macerly ) taken by Lucy Moon - two incredible people I had the best time with. 📸 credit @iamlucymoon
WEEKLY CURATION
🏠 TikTok - Virtual Space Planning by Julie Jones Designs | Unrealistic interior design is the bane of my social media feed. I am renovating my first home and I am starting to feel sad at how much harder it is to put a home together than I imagined. Julie’s videos are amazing for learning how to design your space for your real life
👟 Reels - Changing the game for crewneck sweaters by Blogilates | I hate most sportswear. Nothing makes me feel less confident. Blogilates series where she shows the behind-the-scenes for her confidence-boosting sportswear brand are so insightful and exciting
🏋️ TikTok - 30 days of hot girl habits by Jules | Feeling like your best self can be a bit of a challenge in Winter. Jules series on how to take care of your body and be your hottest self was so motivating though November
🎤 Instagram - The best modest yet extravagant outfits by @zeewhatidid | I met Zainab at the YouTube event this week and I was blown away by her sense of personal style. As I told her at the event, you could really see her personality seeping through her outfits.
What’s new
🎁 Christmas Colour Guide - If you are struggling to make the Christmas colours suit you, this guide is for you. I have created two unique palettes for each of the four colour seasons to help you find your best looks for the holiday season. Read more here
📸 Donate your pictures to Body & Style - I am so excited to finally be making videos using REAL WOMEN! I want to do analysis just like I do for celebrities but with my viewers. This is such a great opportunity to feature more mid and plus size bodies on the channel, and see how these rules work practically in the real world. Submit your photos here?
👏 Join the community - I have launched a patreon! If you want live workshops with me every month where you get to ask me your burning questions in an intimate group, this is your opportunity. I also reinvest all the profits from Patreon back into the YouTube channel to make the content stronger and better, so every penny leads to better videos.
New Uploads:
🎨 YouTube - The Ultimate Guide to Finding Your Colour Season | I view colour seasons from the perspective of a beginner and break down the key terms like light/dark, warm/cool to help you get to grips with the basics
📸 Reels - I used to wonder why I look terrible in outfits for women my age… | I makeover my mum, a Dramatic Classic from her worst outfit into some of her best
🥖 Reels - Why this outfit doesn’t work on my body type | The ‘worst’ outfit from the aforementioned makeover broken down into helpful elements you can apply to your own style
💕 Reels - Does gaining weight change what clothes suit you? | Magazines made quite the fuss about gaining weight in the 00s, but is it as important to personal style as you think…?
Ask Me a Question!
This week’s question comes from Dom, thank you so much! She asks…
‘I absolutely love sleeveless dresses and jumpers but I'm a soft natural. I don't have Mountain in my SR (I believe I'm fire, earth, moon) so I don't wear lot of shirts underneath my jumpers, but that can be arranged. However I really struggle finding a way to make sleeveless dresses/tops work for me in general. Any tips?’
You absolutely don’t need to wear shirts underneath sleeveless items as a natural. The problem that you’re having with sleeveless is probably not that your arms are out, it’s more likely to be the shape of the neckline or the placements of the hem where the sleeve would go. As a Soft Natural, honouring width and curve in this area is really important, and to do that you need an open neckline. Sleeveless tops, dresses, sweaters etc are often NOT conducive to an open neckline. The end of the sleeve, or the strap, is probably hitting you in the wrong place. You want the edge to follow the line of your armpit to the corner edge of your shoulder. Many sleeveless things will be cut too narrow for you. Rather than being a straight line, it’s likely that your best sleeveless pieces will be more triangular in shape almost like a t-shirt silhouette but without the sleeve. Also avoid strapless pieces which have a neckline very close to the neck (e.g. a crew neck or collared shirt) as this can feel restrictive.
I would love to use this newsletter to get to know you guys a little and create a little community of style fanatics! This newsletter is a great opportunity to answer some of your biggest questions.
If you would like to submit one you can do so using the button below:
Until next time…
Thank you for reading this week’s newsletter. I post every Friday at 4pm. I am on a mission to make this the best style newsletter in the world, but I need your help. If you have enjoyed today’s newsletter, please share a link with a friend you think might like it to. And if this is your first time reading Curate Yourself, subscribe using the button below ;)
Ellie-Jean x
My Services
Features Analysis - Get my recommendations for your body type, essence and colour season
Style Analysis - Define your personal style and identify your next steps
Styling Session - Ask me your questions and put the toolbox into practise
My Products
The Ultimate 12 Colour Seasons Guide
WORKBOOK: 8 Week Transformation
The 3 Tier Wardrobe System Guide
